Famous Rhinocerouses I Have Known

One day when my daughters were young I took them to the Toronto Zoo and tried to trade them in for a couple of chimpanzees but the zoo had a strict “no exchanging children for chimpanzees” policy at that time so I was forced to keep them.

Anyway, as we checked out the various exhibits we chatted, and at one point the conversation turned to fame.

Part of my job as a Dad is to provide fatherly advice, so, I said, “Girls, it’s better to be respected than famous. Take a look at that rhinoceros, for instance. Everybody comes here to look at it. They all want a glimpse of that rhinoceros. In a way, that rhinoceros epitimizes fame. Everybody knows the rhino, and in return, the rhinoceros has little or no privacy. Of course, it’s worse when you’re a rhinoceros. It’s not like you’re gonna get the best seats at the restaurant when you’re a rhinoceros, or get to drive a Porsche. You just have people gawking at you all the time. But without good seats and Porsches it’s the same general idea.” 

I asked my daughters if they understood.

One said, “What does epitomize mean?”

The other said, “Dad, that’s a hippopotamus, not a rhinoceros.”

And anyway (they went on to say) we don’t really want to be famous; we want to own a pet store. 

I was pleased with their responses. Now I didn’t have to worry about them becoming famous, and I was pretty certain that if they did become pet store owners* and wanted to sell rhinoceroses and hippopotamuses they would be able to tell them apart.

**They are grown now and did not become pet store owners, at least not yet